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The Conflict/Communication Connection

Debra Healy — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 18:07:00 GMT

A year ago, a community mediation resulted in an agreement that the parties would address one another directly if and when any issues arose in the future.

Yesterday, one of the parties said: "Things were going reasonably well until we stopped communicating."

Seems to me there's a connection.

President Obama's words

Debra Healy — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:59:00 GMT

So long as our relationship is defined by our differences, we will empower those who sow hatred rather than peace. . .

A relationship based upon mutual interest and mutual respect; our differences are not exclusive and need not be in competition.

I'm truly amazed by the critics of President Obama's recent words (slightly paraphrased above). I can only imagine that such criticism is rooted in fear or based on the desire to incite fear for political gain.

"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."

Franklin D. Roosevelt
Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933

Transparency

Debra Healy — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 18:08:00 GMT

Are there situations in which transparency is not helpful to parties in conflict? Definitely.

Being willing to openly share information about positions and interests while involved in a dispute is often a matter of timing. And, timing is a matter of where the parties are in the process of addressing the dispute and whether there is any room for trust to be nurtured.

Engendering trust and transparency is a dance. A conflict management specialist can be invaluable in helping disputants figure out if and how they can dance without stepping all over each other or getting stepped on. In other words, a conflict management specialist can assist the parties in constructive engagement.

Does constructive engagement only involve "making nice"? Definitely not.

Constructive engagement ebbs and flows with the emotions of the disputants. Exploring resolution to a dispute may require a combination of both destructive and constructive steps. The conflict management specialist helps the parties more thoughtfully consider their steps and whether each step is moving toward or away from getting needs and interests met.

Thanks.